A Hippothesis In Ludicrousness

I respect wit. The people I get along with famously are often those who dish out comebacks with a response time that would put Formula1™ pit crews to shame. They operate at a frequency my receiver can clearly tune to.

I respect humor. It’s not always easy to look at the lighter side of things, let alone create one. For many, humor is the preferred way to escape from realism and helps them make sense of the topsy-turvy world around them.

I respect artists and creators. How cool is it to be able to make something that never existed. No precedent, no light guiding the way. Just the power of imagination.

It was the confluence of these three things one Wednesday evening that resulted in the following gems. Sugar, spice and everything nice can go suck it. Props to Farooq for riffing with me on this!

Hippocrate: When you are a Hippo, but you still cannot push a crate.

Hippotitis C: An uncommon disease contracted from a Hippo’s bite.

Hippotenuse: When the longest side of a right angled triangle is replaced by a Hippo. Its length is calculated as the length of the straight line joining the tip of the Hippo’s longest nose hair to the tip of the Hippo’s longest tail hair.

Hippopotanus: Yes, it means exactly what it sounds like.

Hippobole: When a Hippo speaks.

Hippie: A baby Hippo. 10/10 would cuddle.

Hippotension: When you have an elevated heart rate from running away from a chasing mama Hippo. This usually occurs after an attempt to cuddle a Hippie.

Hipponotize:
i. When a Hippo’s shoelaces are untied.
ii. When a Hippo is exiled from his/her herd and doesn’t communicate with them anymore.

Hype: An Australian Hippo. These are usually Hipponotized Hippos. Hype’s Hippobole is usually never understood completely by the other Hippos of the world.

Hipposter: When a Hippo tries to be a Wolf in Sheep’s clothing. I don’t blame them, Hippo fashion is really lagging behind.

Have more definitions to share? Post them in the comments. Maybe we can be friends!